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Proposal on the Foxy Bingo Cruise

As we set off for the ferry port, I knew this holiday would change our lives for ever. But I had no idea which way it would go. I was taking a huge chance - all I could do now was hope.

I thought back to when I met my partner, John, that fateful Friday night in our local. I was on my way to the ladies when I noticed a guy staring at me - he was still looking when I wandered back. "Are you staring at me?" I asked him the next time I passed. "Is there something stuck to my bum?" "No," he grinned, "but you have got a great bum." And that’s where it all began.

I was 20, he was 43, but to me there was no age gap. I was nervous about how my son Cameron, 2, would respond to him, but having had two boys of his own, John knew how to win his heart. They got on like a house on fire.

Our first couple of years went swimmingly. Sure, we had problems, but nothing insurmountable.

Then, in May 2002, things took a turn for the worse. It started with a pain, then bleeding - more than a normal period. I went to the doctor, then straight to hospital and was told I’d miscarried. Three-and-a-half months pregnant, but my baby was gone. They’d spotted a shadow in the scan. That’s all I was told.

Next thing I knew, I’d contracted an infection, needed more check-ups. That’s how I found out I’d been pregnant with twins. Another baby girl had been growing inside - she was seven-and-a-half months.

I’d been heartbroken about my miscarriage, so when they told me her sister had died inside me too, I was devastated. Two days later I had to give birth to my dead daughter. We named her Jan, and her sister Angel.

I fell apart. Without John, I don’t think I’d have made it. If I wanted to rant and rave, he’d listen. I wasn’t easy to be around but John was always there by my side.

I even found it hard to be around Cameron sometimes, but when John noticed, he’d take Cameron out, give me some space. I’ll never forget how he helped me get my relationship back on track with my son.

In February 2005 I got pregnant again. Nine terrifying months and a nightmare labour later, little Megan Jade arrived. But returning home paralysed from the epidural, I just couldn’t feel what you’re supposed to. Not long after I was diagnosed with post-natal depression.

I was so afraid John would leave me. But no matter how low I got, he was always there, cheering me up, giving me cuddles. I couldn’t believe how lucky I was.

And that’s when Foxy came into my life. My depression finally started to lift and Foxy helped with that. There’s such a great atmosphere, like being part of a big family. There no other site like it, not with that vibe.

So when I found out last February that I’d won tickets on the Foxy cruise, I couldn’t have been more stoked. Spoil my man and meet my Foxy friends - what a treat! Then an idea came into my head.

As we sat in the cruise liner bar, I was terrified. Foxy’s chat host Tippy nodded at me to check I was ready before calling us up to the front.

When I got there, holding my poem and flowers, John looking all bemused, I just welled up, so I passed the poem to Tippy who began to read it aloud. When she got to the bit where I asked him to marry me, John hugged me tight.

Everyone thought that was a yes. So did I. But when Tippy asked him for his answer, he said, "I’ll give it to her later."

We’d always said we wouldn’t get married. But I felt differently now.

He kept me in suspense for the rest of the trip and it wasn’t until we were almost docked back in England that he accepted.

I was over the moon, and a bit spooked. I’d had a reading with Foxy’s Valentin, who’d predicted the whole thing. "You’ll get the answer you want," he’d promised, "but you’ll have to do the asking." He’d been absolutely right. So we’re engaged now. We haven’t set a date, though 6 January 2010 is stuck in my head. That would have been the girls’ birthday. Nothing will ever take away the pain of losing the twins. But the way I look at things now is I’ve got the man of my dreams and two beautiful kids, and things can only get better. [ends]